Saturday, June 9, 2012

Animal Farm

Thank god for Helena Bonham Carter.  In our media managed world, eccentricity has been ruthlessly plucked and groomed out our lives. Everyone is smooth shaven and waxed, and no warts or bumps anywhere.  Tastefully and safely dressed, we are drowning in everything anodyne.  (To wit, in googling the spelling of anodyne, I found a marketing agency called Anodyne. . .figures).  At least Helena BC  dresses as a "steward of wackitude.  Bellatrix Lestange is, in fact, in fact, the perfect alter-ego name for her -- she's beautiful, she's strange, and some of her trix are for kids."

Thus, I was rather pleased to get Farmer Ron's monthly letter from Coonamessett Farm, the local community farm in my neighborhood, right next to New Alchemy (yes, we're a bit granola here).  You sign up to be a member, and you can go and pick their vegetables, pet their animals, and generally wander around the farm with the aging hippies.  We've been members as it's a fun thing to do with visitors with kids, and the ice cream is very good.

Hi Everyone, 
Before getting to the “meat” of this email I just got back from sea; I was on another Coonamessett Farm Foundation turtle tagging expedition. My hypothesis is that these sea turtles are evil alien creatures sent here to take over the Earth from mankind. The evidence is startling and will soon be published in the National Inquirer unless it is suppressed by the Government. Only the sharks are keeping these beasts from ruling the world. We should be thankful that we are living safely on Cape Cod terra firma safe from sea turtles, sharks, and bears.

One of the first things I do when I get back from sea is skim emails and read the news reports to get an idea of the key issues that arose while I was away.  From this quick review I conclude that key domestic issues we should be concerned about are the missing Romney years (they coincide with his governorship), windmills, and zombies; not necessarily in that order.  On the international scene we just need to worry about zombies.  Staring at windmills can lead to zombie like trances (see Romney above) and it is doubly dangerous if they are offshore windmills as then you become easy prey for sea turtles. 

I have informed you of the above threats so that you can prepare yourself by coming to the farm to pick strawberries, sugar snap peas, broccoli, and lettuce which is all coming in quite nicely. Just don’t stare at our windmill. Picking season for strawberries may end up being very short so put on that rain gear and get on over to the farm.    
I think all CSAs should have a streak of unapologetic crazy. . . Hurrah for wackitude!

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