Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Tender Victuals

In my former incarnation, I lived in a city with more Michelin stars than Paris.  I had an expense account and clients who simply insisted on being wined and dined.  And It Was Good.

In my present incarnation, I moved home to be with my family, and then have a family of my own.  This Was Also Good.

By alas, I was cast out of the Garden of Yum into the food desert that is Cape Cod.  I am left to wander, looking for manna, and finding none.  No more cute coffee shops, artisanal tofu, charming sommeliers.  No more 750 yen black cod lunches and insouciant noodles dishes.  No more pastries by French trained chefs down the street from my house.  No more flights to Hong Kong where I could overindulge my dim sum and shanghai crab cravings. No more Sundobu Chigae where Korean drama stars hung out when they came to town

There was much gnashing of teeth. 

Then there was fire, which burned down the Thai place in town.  The space next to the Laundromat is a shell, with weeds springing up, aiming to take the space back to its prelapsarian glory.

But all was not lost, there are oases in the desert that is Falmouth MA.

Best place for a proper meal: The Glass Onion (American)
Runner up: The Golden Swan (Indian) The decor has not changed since the place was a German place, but the food is good
Best Coffee: Coffee Obsession
Best Italian: Osteria la Civetta, but it can be noisy
Lobstah Rolls: The Chart Room
Ice Cream: Smitty’s though I have good things about Somerset Creamery in Cataumet
Best Market/Deli: West Falmouth Market.  We still call it West’s after Mr. West, who used to own it.
Cutest Cupcakes: CupCapes
Dive Bar: Grumpy’s Pub
Japanese: Make friends with a tuna fisherman and do it yourself.  Or eat at my mother’s.
Mexican: No
Chinese: Don’t
Korean: You are in a Food Desert.  Make do with the choices above.


  1. Best Cantina: The Captain Kidd. You will never find a more wretched hive of oceanographers, yuppies and millionaires. Also, they have GREAT fries and a great atmosphere. Blasters are to be checked at the door.

    Best Thai: See above for burned out building. Also of note, it was the laundromats fault.

    Best Vietnamese: See above for burned out building.

    Best Diner: Betsey's Diner. Also, this is probably the ONLY diner.

    Best Chocolatier: Ghelfi's Candies of Cape Cod. Humble enough to not refer to themselves as 'chocolatier.'

    Best Irish Food: Seriously?

    Best English Food: See best Irish food then smack yourself in the face.

  2. I seem to remember a place that provided excellent ice-cream, somewhere not far from your parents' house?